October 2010
1 post
May 2010
1 post
Dio
Scott: Wait. Did Dio die?
Kris: Yeah.
Scott: What did he die from?
Kris: He died from being an ancient man whose body was filled with drugs.
April 2010
4 posts
Basically how Kris and I became cartoonists...
Dale: We gotta start thinking bigger, though, Brennan. Listen. What are you really good at?
Brennan: I'm a world-class singer.
Dale: See? Right there. That's an amazing skill. Now what am I good at? I can shred on the drums and I'm a marketing whiz. Put it all together and what do you get?
Brennan: I don't know, a band?
Dale: No, that's been done before. Even better: we are gonna start an international entertainment company. The biggest and the best. And we're gonna call it Prestige Worldwide.
Brennan: That sounds so cool. I feel like a lightning bolt just hit the tip of my penis.
Dale: Yeah. Yeah.
Brennan: We're brothers. This is why we met. To form this alliance.
March 2010
6 posts
If you need me, I’ll be in Stellar...
WatchSnow Day!
February 2010
2 posts
3 tags
January 2010
3 posts
We won't shaft you on prices
Ashely: Seimens
Me: Heh he he hhe heeee...
Ashley: Someone actually named their company that.
Me: It's so stupid. Nobody is going to take you seriously.
Ashley: Yeah, but It's spelled S-E-I-
Me: It doesn't matter HOW it's spelled. People still hear the word in their head and think of Jizz.
Ashley: People, or YOU?
Me: They should just call their company Cumstains.
Me: "We'll shoot you in the eye...with savings."
Gordon Biersch brunch menu
Scott: I think I'm going to order the Monte Cristo.
Angela: yeah?
Scott: Do you think it'll be good?
Angela: You're chasing that Bennegins Monte Cristo, and nothing ever tastes like it.
Scott: Yeah. I just...I want one.
Regean: The Count of Monte Cristo was a good movie, so...
Scott: Yeah. That's true.
Scott: A really good Monte Cristo is served to you while you're bricked into a wall.
Angela: WHAT?!
Scott: Isn't that in that story?
Angela: That's The Cask of Amontillado!
Scott: Oh. Right. Damn. That was almost a perfect joke.
December 2009
5 posts
Blamimations with Kris and Scott →
This is a new project I’m working on that debuted on Christmas. I’m very excited about it. Not only is it a creative outlet outside of the work I’ve been molding over a decade, it’s a collaborative project with my best friend.
November 2009
19 posts
1 tag
Angela
Being married is when she’s looking at you and she’s thinking “Jesus fucking christ, I want to murder him. I want to take a knife from the kitchen and plunge it repeatedly in his chest. It would be justifiable. They would never convict.” but she says “Okay.”
Uke it up.
Me: I really want to learn to play the Ukulele.
Mary: Why the Ukulele?
Me: Cause I don't think I'm good enough to learn the guitar.
Me: Plus I'm fat. It's funnier.
Jeeves Disapproves →
putthison:
“These are for repair, and these… for discarding.”
“Wait a second… this white mess jacket is brand new!”
“I assumed it had got into your wardrobe by mistake, sir… or else that it had been placed there by your enemies.”
“I’ll have you know that I bought this jacket in Cannes.”
“And wore it, sir?”
“Every night. At the casino. Beautiful women used to try and catch my eye.”
...
“So I was sitting there in the bar and this guy comes up to me and he said...”
– Mika, “Blame it on the Girls”
3 tags
3 tags
“My inspirations were the fact that I had to make sales. And I had to come up...”
– Jack Kirby reminding us all that sometimes sitting around trying to be Hemingway is the absolute worst way to create.
“I finally felt safe to sleep on the train. So I let the American soldiers take...”
– My Grandmother, who turns 86 today, telling me about how she carried my infant father from Czechoslovakia back into Germany on foot after the war ended.
2 tags
My glasses, so I have them.
If these glasses don’t fix this problem, I might go back to drawing on paper. With ink. And that’s just fucking barbaric.
The Secret Life of Cartoonists:
the story about...
3 tags
“Something involving He-Man and Skeletor… Probably make it about it Modern...”
– @Anlath via twitter reply after I asked for ideas for comic strips.
3 tags
3 tags
“I am taking your suggestion regarding Charlotte Braun and will eventually...”
– Charles M. Schulz in a letter to a disgruntled reader, circa 1955
October 2009
9 posts
3 tags
3 tags
1 tag
1 tag
Je ne sais quoi – “I know not what.”
Until today, I never know the literal translation of Je ne sai quoi.
Jesus. How many other phrases do I know when to use despite not knowing what they mean? And how many phrases am I using wrong but nobody’s told me yet?
It’s like in Anchorman when Ron Burgundy kept trying to work out the proper context to use the phrase “Oh well, when in Rome.”
1 tag
3 tags
Give yourself permission to say "no." →
3 tags
JustNotes →
minimalmac:
JustNotes aims to be a straight forward and easy to use notes application for the Mac. Not only that, but it provides built in syncing with Simplenote, which I have written about a few times here. If I am correct, this is the first native Mac application to provide this feature integration. Worth a look indeed.
Simplenote is a really smart note-taking app for the iphone that does...
1 tag
1 tag
D
Kris: Hey, how ya livin?
Scott: Watching Bram Stoker's Dracula on Hul-OOH.
Kris: What?
Scott: I didn't know you got to see Monica Bellucci's tits in this!
Kris: Yeah. She's in that.
Scott: I remember the brides having their tits out, I just don't remember one set belonging to Monica Bellucci.
Kris: you're gonna like those tits, dude.