I never feel more stupid than when I’m playing Scrabble.
*scottkurtz
Dec25
Nov28
Weird pictures in mens bathrooms. Cristinas Mexican restaurant. Frisco, TX
She looked at him with longing and fiery lust. She leaned in close. He could feel her breath on his neck. “Wash your hands.” she whispered.
Angela
Being married is when she’s looking at you and she’s thinking “Jesus fucking christ, I want to murder him. I want to take a knife from the kitchen and plunge it repeatedly in his chest. It would be justifiable. They would never convict.” but she says “Okay.”
Nov24
Uke it up.
- Me: I really want to learn to play the Ukulele.
- Mary: Why the Ukulele?
- Me: Cause I don't think I'm good enough to learn the guitar.
- Me: Plus I'm fat. It's funnier.
Nov21
Jeeves Disapproves→
“These are for repair, and these… for discarding.”
“Wait a second… this white mess jacket is brand new!”
“I assumed it had got into your wardrobe by mistake, sir… or else that it had been placed there by your enemies.”
“I’ll have you know that I bought this jacket in Cannes.”
“And wore it, sir?”
“Every night. At the casino. Beautiful women used to try and catch my eye.”
“Presumably they thought you were a waiter, sir.”
Nov20
So I was sitting there in the bar and this guy comes up to me and he said “My life stinks” and I saw his gold credit card and I saw the way he was looking at people across the room and I looked at his face and you know, what a good looking face, and I just said, “Dude, your perspective on life sucks”.
Mika, “Blame it on the Girls”
Who’s writing the copy for this corporate brand for chrissakes?
Pepper in some dessert? That metaphor broke down three menu inserts ago.
I’m getting stupider eating here.
Hand crafted burgers? No shit, Chilis. How else would you make a hamburger? When you have automated burger robots put THAT on the menu. That would impress me.
How much of our daily life is full of this ridiculous anti-hyperbole?
Nov15
I found this picture of Chevy Chase and John Belushi it made me think of my relationship with Kris and how we’re young now and in the prime of our careers and who knows if we’re as funny and clever as we think we are, but this is about as funny and clever as we’re gonna get.
Strauby, as soon as I get to Seattle, let’s re-create this photo.
My inspirations were the fact that I had to make sales. And I had to come up with characters that were no longer stereotypes. I couldn’t depend on gangsters.
Jack Kirby reminding us all that sometimes sitting around trying to be Hemingway is the absolute worst way to create.
